The curve ball has been thrown in our direction!! Fly ball out of left field!!!
To start, I was injured on duty (again…. Don’t know if i’ve mentioned this yet..) and because of it, I’m on short term disability. Basically, i’m stuck at home in a knee brace. Joy! (Insert sarcasm)
Secondly, Master has been dealing with an insane amount of stress. He has recently become THE man of his family, and not by choice. Because of this situation, and the responsibilities that go with it, many of which are out of his control; And let’s face it, no Dominant likes things that aren’t in his control. As His, I’ve made it my top priority to do what needs to be done and take care of him. Making sure he eats, the little details to be taken care of, making sure I drive so he can focus on other tasks….. Just like any pack or pride, when the Alpha Male is unable to perform his duties, the Alpha female doesn’t necessarily take over, but stands by his side to assure that things go one as best as possible. It’s been hard as often times he will shut down and I am left to guess, but I refused to give up.. still refuse (read that as present tense…)
Third, My last living grandfather passed away. That is a surreal reality to digest. I have no more grandfathers left. I have only one living grandmother and apparently she’s ready to kick the dust any day now. Seriously, she told me “i’m gonna die soon.” ……….kay grandma? I think? It’s odd to realize it. We’re all getting older. Our parents, our friends, our family… we’re all just getting to that age and the numbers are growing. I don’t like it one bit. But you can’t decide when or where you will go or what will happen. The funeral was incredibly stressful, as because it was with family I do not associate with. They’re the side I refuse to acknowledge or speak with. Master and I were there, and probably the only ones gunned up (yea it was that hostile) and what really confused me, was despite my sadness I was filled with anger and rage. How dare they treat me this way. My mother this way, she lost her dad too. What the hell. Some didn’t even bother to show up, instead they chose to drink and get high. Pathetic. I wanted to cry but there were more important matters to attend to.
I’ll leave that there….
Because of all the changes listed above and then some, Master has become increasingly protective of me. I can’t describe how much I love and enjoy it. Not only is it a sexual turn on, but a comfort as well. It’s bringing mental peace to my demons and assisting in allowing me to let some recent renewed walls come down. I love my Master and love it when he embraces the part of himself I know he has. That confidence he has in himself reassures his role in our dynamic and reminded me when I forget 🙂 It’s a beautiful thing and incredibly desirable. Oh hormones, behave yourself 😉