After a brief hiatus, things are set back into place. Now I need to incorporate a routine that works with the changes that occurred. One being Master’s work commitments have increased, which i’m proud of him for. It’s time for me to start proving my worth once again, not only to myself but to our dynamic. I’ve been relying on him way way too much. Don’t get me wrong, I need my Master and he needs to be needed and wanted, but there are things only I can be responsible for, and one of those is my physical fitness and personal goals. Recently I was involved in a short and brief but still exhausting fight on duty. A little miss wanted to play games and challenge me, I had to show her who was Alpha and so I did. Her threat was to say she was going to overcome me and it wasn’t going to happen on my watch. Despite it being nothing dramatic or writing home about, it took me a few days to recover physically as my muscles realized they needed to be worked harder and more often. I’ve been asking Master for help and he’s already up to his neck in his own schedules and life so I need to start doing my part and get on it.
I also noticed that dealing with issues of the past really didn’t occur like I imagined. Seeing an old enemy face to face and no longer wishing to unleash months and months of pent up aggression on them, but instead of feeling sorry and pathetic for them, knowing the apple never falls far from the tree. In a way, it made me realize once again that I am an Alpha woman who can take care of her Alpha mate and more importantly able to physically defeat those who threaten our way of life. To do so, I need to continue moving up the food chain in my world and I must be ready for the challenges i’m going to face on that journey. Master and I had been dealing with so many obstacles for so long that once they ended our souls were just plain exhausted. Two months have since gone by since the last big hurdle was overcome, and I do feel it’s time to get back to work and focus.
I’ve always lacked self-discipline, just because it’s always been me and only me. So if things didn’t get done right away, it didn’t matter because I was the only person who was going to do them. Now it’s no longer just me and I need to get back to work on a schedule until things become second nature again. Today I’m going to write down a timed schedule that will include everything I need to do on a daily basis. I know it seems ridiculous, but for a service based submissive, tasks that I can accomplish on a daily basis, regardless if it’s a large or a small task, is a reward in itself that i’ve pleased my Master and kept my word to get it done. I’m going to incorporate my fitness routine as well because to maintain my physical fitness healthily and not some get a skinny gimmick like Plexus, Xying, Vita, etc… But to actually have the discipline to work hard at it, is a reward that I know I will be grateful for over and over.
The summer months have arrived and I couldn’t be more grateful. I live for the feeling of the sun on my skin and turn the dark color that allows my skin to glow. Perhaps as the temperatures increase Master will give me a “no clothes at home” protocol 😉
Either way, I need to start expecting more out of myself. I used to believe that if I had no expectations I would have no disappointments, but in reality that belief IS a disappointment. I need to expect more out of myself, I need to expect more out of my own actions. I need to expect myself to be nothing less than the lioness I have become.